Novels by Alexander Babayan
My Books
Past - Present - Future
From Santa with Love
November 2023
Anthony Russo, a thirty-two-year-old bachelor is dumped by the love of his life Mary, just three months to Christmas. Desperately trying to get back with her, his last resort is to write a letter to Santa for help. People should be careful what they wish for.
Anthony is more confused. This guy seems very sure about the letter. Then the guy puts his hand in his inside pocket, takes out a piece of paper and continues.
“This. You sent me this letter.”
One look at the letter and he quickly recognizes it. It’s his letter to Santa. How did this guy get hold of it?
“That’s my letter. Give it to me,” he quickly tells him.
The guy pulls his hand back and says, “No way. It’s my letter. You sent it to me.”
“I did no such thing.”
“Yes, you did. You sent this to Santa.” He then shows the top of the letter and says, “See? You wrote Dear Santa. It’s mine.”
Anthony is completely confused. He thinks this guy is probably deranged.
“What are you talking about?”
“That’s what I was explaining. You weren’t listening. I’m Santa! And this letter is from you.”
For a moment, Anthony thought he heard it wrong.
“Did you say Santa?” he asks cautiously.
“Yes, my boy. I’m here because of this letter. I was surprised to receive a letter from you after all these years. Especially asking me for a girl. I usually deliver toys, and occasionally some bigger toys for adults. But delivering girls!” He nudges Anthony and laughs out loud.
“Will you keep it down? I never asked for a girl.”
“Yes, you did. Here…,” he says as he points to the part of the letter that reads bring me back Mary. He pulls the letter back and continues. “Mary is a girl, right? You asked for a girl.”
President Poop
September 2024
Peter Dunkins, a devoted Secret Service agent is assigned to the President's protection team. In a parody of current political climate, how will this old school agent accomplish his duty?
On one of his outings to meet and greet with people, he was offered an ice cream cone. Just two licks were enough to churn his stomach. As soon as Dunkins saw his face, he knew trouble was imminent. Surrounded by people, they needed a quick solution to avoid embarrassment.
Dunkins saw no other choice but to yell, "Gun!"
Everyone hit the ground, and the other agents leaped to protect the President. Instead of pulling him down, Dunkins grabbed Brandon, tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and started running toward the nearest store, pushing people aside and repeatedly yelling, "Coming through! Coming through!"
The other agents were puzzled at first but quickly ran after him. With Dunkins leading the way, Brandon bouncing on his shoulder, and agents following close behind with their weapons drawn, they rushed inside, straight to the restroom. Throughout the ordeal, Dunkins kept thinking, not in my face, not in my face, while urging Brandon to hold on a little longer. He burst through the door and placed Brandon on the toilet just in time for the inevitable relief.
That afternoon, news agencies buzzed with reports of a suspicious attempted attack on President Brandon’s life, and how the Secret Service heroically reacted by quickly taking cover in a nearby store until the situation was under control. Only Dunkins knew the real story behind the chaos. Later, his boss Carrihill called to congratulate him on his quick thinking. A while later Jenny came to see him.
She smiled and said: “That was a close call.” She paused a moment and cheekily said: “You know, you could've just pushed him in the car and brought him home instead of going to the store.”
Dunkins mischievously replied: “Yeah? I wouldn’t survive the smell.”
To which Jenny replied: “Occupational hazard.”
When the Violins Play on Christmas
November 2024
Another Christmas tale from our mischievous Santa. This time, he's dealing with a ten year-old bratty boy who wants everything for Christmas. Will Santa go Nanny McPhee on him, or will he just bring him all the toys he wants? You just have to wait until November to find out.